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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

In a Talking Circle, group members are usually seated in a circle and make comments on the topics of discussion following a small number of rules. Read on to learn more. – Sandra

“Talking Circle” Rules
1. Only the person holding the talking stick may speak.
2. The goal is to listen as you would like to be listened to when you are speaking.
3. The “talking stick” is passed around until everyone who wants to has spoken.

General Format
Everybody is seated circle so that they can see everybody else’s face, including those on either side of them. Each person is given the opportunity to speak, with the speaker holding the talking stick. Members are asked to speak loudly enough for everyone in the circle can hear them.

No Interrupting
Participants are asked to not interrupt the speakers, though this “rule” may be broken by a request if the topic is very stimulating. (In this case, it is the facilitator’s decision to allow or disallow the interruption.) As the speaker completes their turn, they pass the stick to their neighbor, who may speak, or simply pass the stick on.

Use of “I” Statements
Discussion continues until the stick has been passed around the whole circle once in silence. Privacy is a key element to all talking circles, and gossiping about others is not allowed. Members will be encouraged to use “I” statements, to take personal ownership for their thoughts and feelings, and thus communicate more directly. This can enhance each members’ capacity for intimacy through increasing the quality of their communication.

Participation is Voluntary
No one is forced to participate in group discussions, however, everyone will be encouraged. Members will be invited to listen beneath the words, and attempt to pick up the feelings that the words are expressing. Active participation in the group discussions will allow the participants to learn from each other, as well as discover that they are not alone in their feelings,

The Goal
The goal of this type of teen support group is to facilitate teens in maximizing their social skills and self-awareness, and discover their authentic expression. All potential members will be interviewed prior to joining, to verify that the group is a fit for them.

Creating a Safe Space
The main ground rule is that everything discussed in group is held in confidence so as to create a safe space for members to feel free to open up. The groups I lead are open, meaning that members will be added as other members decide to leave. Being under the influence of drugs or alcohol will be unquestionably unacceptable. Any casual discussions of drugs or alcohol will also be discouraged. Use of walkmans, cell phones or other electronic devices will not be permitted in the group.

**Note: I am currently interviewing people interested in joining the groups meeting Friday nights at 6 p.m. and Saturday mornings at 11 a.m. in my Santa Monica office..

Contact Sandra Dupont To Reserve Your Space. FREE Parent Consultation

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupontMFT.com

..

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

Even within families who get along well most of the time, there can be occasional disagreements. In your relationship with your teenager, it is important to be open to hearing their point of view. – Sandra

STAY ON TOPIC
First, it is essential to really listen while your teen is talking, instead of formulating your response in your head. Also, try to stick to topic you are discussing and not jump around by bringing up past hurts or misunderstandings.

AVOID AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
The foundation of any respectful argument involves avoiding: raising your voice, swearing, name calling, or pointing your finger in their face. You never want to use threats or taunts, which will only escalate the tension between you. A healthy relationship is based on honesty and trust, so you also don’t want to exaggerate to make a point.

CREATE A SAFETY PHRASE OR GESTURE
You should never be placed in a position where you fear an argument could get physical. Laying a hand on anyone in anger is not okay. Therefore, it is wise to agree upon a safety phrase or gesture that indicates it might be helpful to take a “time out” from an argument which has gotten too heated.

BE WILLING TO APOLOGIZE
You become a role model for your teen by being willing to apologize if you realize you are wrong. These recommendations will obviously work best if you and your teen can both agree to use them. Remember, you are teaching your teen that it’s easier to “hear” and “be heard” when opinions are expressed thoughtfully and respectfully.

Yes, it is possible for you to express your feelings without alienating your teen! The goal is to model to your child that it’s okay to agree to disagree…

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupontMFT.com

Adolescent Therapist | Parent Coach | Teen Mentor

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

Instead of staying in their immediate neighborhood, teens are often biking, taking a bus, or asking parents to drive them to nearby cities to meet up with their friends. Read on to learn tips on keeping your teen safe. – Sandra

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR TEEN IS?
Parents may think they know where their teen is, but this is not always the case. Telling a parent that they are spending the night at one friend’s, they get another parent to drive them across town to a party, working out their ride home however they can.

DO YOUR KNOW YOUR TEEN’S FRIENDS?
It is important to know who your teen’s friends are. Also get to know who their friend’s parents are, that you might have a sense of the type of values they uphold in their homes.

DIFFERENT FAMILIES HAVE DIFFERENT RULES
In your home, there may be strict curfews, as well as restrictions around alcohol and other mind-altering substances. But in other homes, parents sometimes turn a blind eye to their teen’s entertainment activities, including drinking, and unsupervised access to bedrooms.

OTHER PARENTS IN CHARGE OF YOUR TEEN’S SAFETY
It is a wise parent who gets contact information for any sleep-overs or parties, including the address, phone number and the name of the adult in charge of the event. It is also responsible behavior to call and introduce yourself, verify the details, and get a feel for who that other parent is.

TRUST IS SOMETHING TO BE EARNED
The boundaries you set for your teen shows your caring. Do not cave in under pressure when presented with the claim that “all the other parents let their kids …”  I assure you that there are plenty of parents who still expect their teens to earn their trust.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupontMFT.com

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

Punishment is designed to control a person’s behavior and is not effective for teaching teens to become responsible and independent young adults. Read on to learn why discipline is a better option. – Sandra

WHAT DOES PUNISHMENT LOOK LIKE?
Punishment includes threats, yelling, and verbal insults. If you are frequently yelling at your child, chances are that they may start to pay attention to you only when you raise your voice. Insults are not healthy for anyone, and when teens hear you yelling and using verbal insults, they learn to do that behavior too.

DOES GROUNDING YOUR TEEN WORK?
Often parents punish teenagers by grounding them. Many times grounding is not related to what the teen did, therefore they have difficulty learning the lesson you are trying to teach them.

WHAT DOES HITTING ACCOMPLISH?
Some parents hit their teen out of anger. Hitting hurts both the teen and the parent, because the teen feels unloved and the parent feels guilty. The teen also learns that hitting is a way to get power or solve their problem.

DISCIPLINE IS A MORE RESPECTFUL OPTION
Discipline is a respectful way of relating to your teen. Discipline teaches your teen to become more responsible and cooperative. Discipline allows your teen to learn from their behavior and the natural consequences of their choices.

ALLOWING TEENS ROOM TO GROW
Teens need limits, but those limits need to be adjusted as your teen becomes more mature. Many parents are often afraid to let their teen make their own decisions. However, it is very important to allow teens a chance to make and learn from their choices–within certain limits.

A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

I believe it is the responsibility of adults who have contact with teens to lead by example. Read on to learn how you can help your teen deal with bullying. – Sandra

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BULLIED?
Has anyone ever intimidated you, or made you feel less than them? Perhaps it was a parent, a teacher, a neighbor, an employer, or a spouse. The feeling was probably one of helplessness and despair, along with perhaps some anger and the desire for revenge.

PASSING JUDGMENT ON OTHERS
People often define things by right and wrong, good and bad, different and similar. When countries go to war over over religion and people are judged for the color of their skin or romantic preference, what lessons are we teaching our teens?

TOLERANCE FOR DIVERSITY
When little Johnnie hits a friend for taking his toy, there is an opportunity to teach him how to share. When bigger Johnnie mocks his classmate for his handicap or learning disability, there is an opportunity to teach him about diversity.

WHAT LESSON ARE YOU TEACHING?
If your teen frequently hears you talk down about others, or experiences  you using intimidation to get them to do what you want, you may be teaching them how to be bullies, or victims. I invite you to consider the possibility of using your behavior to teach lessons of  respect, compassion and acceptance.

EXTINGUISH BULLYING BEHAVIOR
As for parents of the victims being bullied, there will always be people who don’t treat your teen in the way you would like. But if you help your teen to have a strong sense of self love, they can respond in ways that avoid giving bullies satisfaction.

HOW TO HANDLE INSULTS
There are ways to handle insults that remove their sting. For example, if someone makes a mocking comment about one’s clothes, hair, accent, or physical features, a response you could suggest to your teen might be to simply say: “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for sharing yours.”

Worried About Your Teen? Schedule a FREE Parent Consultation.

For more information, please visit my website:

www.SandraDupontMFT.com

.

Adolescent Therapist|Parent Coach|Teen Mentor

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A Note From the Santa Monica Family Counselor

Not every student learns at the same pace or in the same style. The following are suggestions on how to help your teen succeed in school. Read on to learn how to help your teen succeed in school. – Sandra

INQUIRE ABOUT YOUR CHILD’S TEACHERS
At the start of the school year, check in with your child by asking what they think of their teachers and how enthused they are feeling about each of the subjects they are studying.

SHOW INTEREST IN WHAT THEY ARE LEARNING
Once school is underway check in daily or weekly, depending upon the self-motivation of your particular child, by asking about their assignments and what their are learning.

HANDLING OBSTACLES TO ACADEMIC SUCCESS
If  your teen starts expressing feelings of helplessness or hopelessness about a particular class or classes this could mean a couple of things:

• They need some assistance beyond the time spent in class to actually digest the new information, and thus a tutor may prove helpful.
• They may have a learning style or learning disability that needs to be better understood, like ADD, dyslexia, or a sensory processing disorder. There are tests as well as treatment designed to help overcome these challenges.
• They may be struggling emotionally with depression, bullying, low self-esteem or even substance abuse. These are all situations that would benefit from a consultation and/or treatment with a trained mental health professional.

THE VALUE OF THE EDUCATIONAL PROCESS
The educational process offers students the opportunity to learn social skills, personal responsibility, respect for authority, how to manage their time, what areas interest them, as well as how to gather and absorb information.

HAPPY TEENS MAKE MORE FOCUSED STUDENTS
Instead of focusing only on an outcome, it is essential that parents support their child in having a positive and successful school experience.

Worried About Your Teen? Free Parent Consultation.

For more information, please visit my website:

SandraDupontMFT.com

Adolescent Therapist | Parent Coach | Teen Mentor

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A Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist

Teens across the country are struggling, and many parents don’t know why, or how to help them. Read on to learn if therapy could help your family. – Sandra

IS YOUR TEEN SUFFERING?
Often, parents have avoided seeking mental health services for their teen due to the old stigma associated with therapy. However, did you realize that by waiting until the problem with your teen has escalated, the issue often becomes more complicated to solve?

RESEARCHING MENTAL HEALTH
The Internet now allows parents the opportunity to seek support for their child or family before the onset of mental illness has occurred. The Internet can also be a great tool for parents to do research and learn more about mental health related issues.

A PARENTING RESOURCE
As a therapist for teens, I use the Internet and social media to be a resource promoting teen mental health. My intention is for parents who’s children are in emotional pain can consult with me on next steps in their child’s recovery.

YOUR PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION
There are a variety of services available to aid you in meeting your family’s challenges and healing your child’s pain. My teen and family therapy services are solution focused, and designed to meet your goals and expectations.

Worried About Your Teen? FREE Parent Consultation.

For more information, please visit my website:

www.SandraDupontMFT.com

ADOLESCENT THERAPIST | PARENT COACH | TEEN MENTOR

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