Does Your Teen Like To Gossip?
ByA Note From The Santa Monica Family Therapist
“My best friend loves to gossip about other people, and I am afraid that she is gossiping about me. What should I do?”
GOSSIPING CAN MEAN A FEW THINGS:
- Your friend could be feeling envious or jealous of someone, and is trying to feel better about herself by putting the other person down.
- Your friend may be trying to feel more popular, and is using gossip as a way to gather more people around her.
- Your friend may be angry with someone, but instead of handling her hurt feelings directly with that person, she is venting her feelings publicly.
- She may see something in the behavior of that other person that she believes is wrong and is trying to force that person to change by alerting everyone else.
Since she is your best friend, your opinion is probably very important to her. Have you considered sharing with her your feelings and concerns about gossiping in general and creating a discussion?
If it seems like she is open to the discussion, you could even go so far as to express your fear that she may talk about you to others. You can then invite her to tell you directly about anything she thinks is getting in the way of your friendship and promise to do the same for her.
She is doing what she is doing for a reason. However, she may not understand why she is doing it and your conversation could be a safe place where she can explore her feelings. Together, you could discover better options for handling these situations besides gossiping.
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SandraDupontMFT.com
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Adolescent Therapist | Parent Coach | Teen Mentor
Serving: Los Angeles, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Culver City, Brentwood, Westwood, Marina Del Rey, Mar Vista, Encino, Sherman Oaks, Topanga Beach and Topanga Canyon, Ocean Park, Hancock Park, and West Hollywood.




In the city I live I have noticed that the 7th grade girls have been very mean to each other. I would like to start a mother-daughter coaching program and am looking to collaborate with someone like you. Let me know if you’re interested!
I would be delighted to help you set up a mother-daughter workshop, where we could discuss how to turn bullies into buddies, and how the parents can help all the girls to have a positive middle school experience.